Induced Sleep Deprivation

Daylight Savings Time! We look forward to it when it rounds the calendar bend. Days get longer with the turn of the clock. Today, when I went to my regular exercise place everyone that came through the door looked like a college freshman who had just pulled an all nighter studying for exams. As we all slogged and yawned around the work-out circuit we all agreed this daylight savings time thing is great, but.....

Change is not always easy. Whether we admit it or no, we like things to be predictable. We have a difficult time when routines get upset or plans don't go the way we think they should. But, we have a God who never changes, and Scripture reminds us of that in so many ways.

Malachi 3:6a  “For I the Lord do not change;" 

Psalm 100:5 For the Lord is good his steadfast love endures forever and his faithfulness to all generations.

Psalm 119:89 Forever, O Lord, your word is firmly fixed in the heavens.

James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

As I am struggling through my day full of difficulty and change, disappointment and despair, I will take joy in the God of my salvation because He NEVER changes and His promises are true no matter the circumstance. I already feel invigorated and full of joyful hope no matter what the moment brings, even if it is as small as sleep deprivation.

Deep Weeds

Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap steadfast love; break up your fallow ground, for it is the time to seek the LORD, that he may come and rain righteousness upon you. Hosea 10:12

Spring is springing upon us. Warmer days mean it is time to get the garden cart out and head to the woods. Today is one of those days. I was out there faster than you could say, "jack rabbit!" And then, discouragement hit!

For 23 years I have been tending to the woods and every time I am there it looks like no progress has been made. Creeping Charlie!  Buckthorn! Virginia Creeper! Poison Ivy.! Yup, we have it all. And then, there is all that other nasty stuff!!

Why does it always seem that the bad stuff takes over the good? I can't find the hostas and hydrangeas that were planted and carefully tended to last year. I really need help. The roots of this stuff are so deep; I only scratch the surface. I am in very deep weeds.

Today as I weeded and pulled, yanked hard and tipped over I thought a lot about my own heart. The weeds of sin and pride get so easily tangled and deeply rooted in my heart. It robs me of joy. The struggles of life feel a lot like the futile gardening escapades in the woods. I am going nowhere fast. The entangling roots of sin need to be yanked out.  I need to be seeking the Lord, putting my faith and trust in His Word. I need to take my focus off the need and turn my face upward to Jesus the author and perfecter of my faith who for the joy set before Him endured the cross despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrew 12:2.

I need the root of sin yanked out by Him so I  can know His presence.  Just like I need to free my hydrangeas from the poison ivy that entangles them so they can grow into beautiful blossoming plants, I need to have a heart that is freed from the deep roots of sin, and that comes only by humbly bowing at the foot of the cross. Then, when the fiery trials come my way rather than producing sin in me, forgiveness and faith will bear the fruit of joy and deep roots of satisfaction in Christ!!!!!!!!  "Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus!"

What A Sunny Day Will Do To You!!!

Although it is very windy, today is warm and sunny. Birds are chirping. Buds are visible. The daffodils are starting to come up along the woods. I even saw a crocus.

I love changing seasons. For some odd reason they invigorate my soul. Spring's beauty is close. The heaviness of winter is soon behind us. It is hard to have anything but a joyful spirit on a day like today. Drink it in! Soak it up! Savor it to brighten those moments when your day seems dark.

God's promises are much like the freshness of spring.  They invigorate us. They build trust. They are  like a balm during those dark days.  When the storms rise cling to them and you will find great comfort.  The dark winter of sorrow will be transformed into springs of joy

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10.

Is that a promise worth clinging to, or what?

A Tribute to Mom

Defining moments! They mark us. They shape us. They mold us.  February 27, 1996 will linger long in my mind and heart. It was the day our family said farewell, this side of heaven, to my mom. She was beloved! She was not a perfect mother, but she raised me well. Her ways of expressing love were manifested mostly through her deep and abiding devotion to faith and family. I did not need to hear the I love you statement every other minute. I knew I was loved and secure by her care for me.

Grief and loss is an odd thing. It comes in waves when least expected. Yes, even after sixteen years I feel its presence. There are days I wish I could pick up the phone and chat with her. Our conversations were always full of, "How are you doing?" " What are you doing?" " What do you want for dinner when you come?" "Don't wear yourself out!" We always knew our visits to Grandma and Grandpa's house would be filled with all of our favorite foods cooked to perfection, coffee klatches with Mom's friends, updates on the latest needlework projects, current happenings in Dad's workshop, garage projects and yes, the garden. Oh, how I miss her.

There is a strange mingling to joy and sorrow. Sorrow because there is loss. The memories ended way too soon. Joy comforts those losses and misses in the knowing that for eternity my mom is seeing Jesus face to face and knows the glorious riches of heaven filled with worship and  joy eternal!! Dear Reader, even though there is sorrow for the moment remember, "THE BEST IS YET TO COME!"

Make the Most Of The Moment

 Living in the suburbs of a large city provides the chance to spend a lot of time in your car. Waiting in traffic has a way of becoming  a frustration if one does not view it as a time of opportunity. In recent years, I have been developing and practicing my listening skills through carefully selected audiobooks and music CD's while driving. These times have become precious to me as I have listened through books of the Bible, books written about the Bible, or God-ward oriented music. I find myself treasuring these moments as times of intimate fellowship with God.

Lately, as I have been driving hither and yon an old hymn by Franny Crosby, "O Heart Bereaved and Lonely," has caught my listening ear as I absorb the writing from the pen of a woman who spent her entire life in the darkness of being blind. She wrote over 8000 hymns in her lifetime.  She understood suffering and the sweet and bitter providence it is in the life of the believer in Christ. As to her blindness she said:

"It seemed intended by the blessed providence of God that I should be blind all my life, and I thank him for the dispensation. If perfect earthly sight were offered me tomorrow I would not accept it. I might not have sung hymns to the praise of God if I had been distracted by the beautiful and interesting things about me."

If I had a choice, I would still choose to remain blind...for when I die, the first face I will ever see will be the face of my blessed Saviour."
quoted from http://www.eaec.org/faithhallfame/fanny_crosby.htm

Fanny Crosby, though blind, was able to see the beauty and the blessedness that is found in affliction. There is much for us to learn from the life of this precious woman of God. When I listen to the words of "O Heart Bereaved..." I find much comfort and solace. As tears tumble down my cheeks I sing in praise of the love, mercy, grace and goodness of our great Savior. Dear reader whose heart is bereaved and lonely this day, "Look up amid thy sorrow," "Look up and be not discouraged," "Look up the clouds are breaking," and remember "YOUR SAVIOR KNOWS IT ALL."

O Heart Bereaved and Lonely

O heart bereaved and lonely,

Whose brightest dreams have fled

Whose hopes like summer roses,

Are withered crushed and dead

Though link by link be broken,

And tears unseen may fall

Look up amid thy sorrow,

To Him who knows it all

O cling to thy Redeemer,

Thy Savior, Brother, Friend

Believe and trust His promise,

To keep you till the end

O watch and wait with patience,

And question all you will

His arms of love and mercy,

Are round about thee still

Look up, the clouds are breaking,

The storm will soon be o'er

And thou shall reach the haven,

Where sorrows are no more

Look up, be not discouraged;

Trust on, whate'er befall

Remember, O remember,

Thy Savior knows it all

Fanny Crosby

What Cleaning Out Old Files Can Do To You!

Who would have thought  buying a Scansnap SN1100 could create such revolution? We are going paperless. What does that mean? Drawers of paper, files, and photos have all gone up to the"Cloud" with our nifty little Scansnap. The paper shredder needs frequent oiling, and we will have enough packing material to last us a lifetime. I have come to love the Spartan look of empty drawers.

As I was going through files to scan or toss, it was like taking a walk down memory lane. I came across some old entries from a long since deleted blog I started in 2005 and thought it would be fun to share some of "My Musing," from a Proverbs 31 Mom. This excerpt was from a September 2005 entry entitled, "Reflections on a Sunday Afternoon."

I have been listening to my favorite Bill Staines music, and as I listen to "An Afternoon At Cohan's" I am reminded  of sweet memories from childhood. Who would have thought that getting up early in the morning, walking to the garden with my family, bushel baskets in hand, to glean from our garden's rich bounty of vegetables that my dad faithfully and carefully tended, would hold so much weight in my memory? Each week there was something new to be picked and preserved. My summer memory of Dad was his hoe in hand and for Mom standing at the stove canning anything and everything edible. They provided well in their simplicity!

I remember bushel baskets full of peas, and the early evenings sitting under the shade of the maple tree with Mom's metal mixing bowl between my legs shelling peas endlessly. It was a neighborly event that seemed to take place most often in our yard or the next door neighbor's. When the kids got tired of shelling, we would run off to play whistle or holler, kick the can, hide and go seek, or who can catch the most lightning bugs while the adults finished the job.

Those days are gone, but they linger long, now, in my memory,  and at times are comforting thoughts when the burdens of the day weigh down. I am thankful for those gentle and loving memories. Not all people have them or see that they do. It challenges me to ask myself what kind of family memories am I leaving with my children. In a day when the whole concept of family has been so distorted by the world we live in, it is a good question to be asking, "What impressions am I leaving on my children, and how will it impact them?"

For Byron and me, our greatest desire has been to help our children understand the love of God expressed through Jesus Christ. To know Him is our greatest gain, and to faithfully live that out is the greatest legacy we can leave them. We do believe the statement, "What we do, they will do in excess," to be a true statement. We have asked ourselves over the years, " What do we want them to do in excess? " Answer: To know and love God and to faithfully serve Him from a heart that is anchored in Christ. Jesus said, " The thief comes only to steal and destroy, I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10 (ESV). Just as our garden's harvest provided abundantly for my family when I was a child, so the Word of God, in the context of a relationship with Christ, provides spiritual sustenance abundantly to our souls.

Nearly seven years have passed since I wrote this piece. My hopes and desires have not changed. I have had time and opportunity to see how God has worked in each of my children's lives. God has been faithful to us. He has grown us in so many unexpected ways. Times have not always been easy, but we do see His gentle hand guiding us and His Word sustaining us as we journey through the joys and sorrows of this life. Stay tuned for more musings from a Proverbs 31 mom.

Under Construction

 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:1-5

 For almost a year, I have been driving through construction on a daily basis to get to the places I need to go. Each day brings something new in the construction process. Slower speeds, lots of road markers and occasional lane shifts have become the expected norm until the job is finished. It is apparent to me that there has been a lot of engineering and planning that has taken place in order to make such a large project stay on track and run as smoothly as it has been going. It is evident, as well, that safety has been a big consideration since the road has a high volume of traffic.

Recently, as I was making my way through orange barrels and cones I caught myself thinking that I am under construction too.  God is digging and plowing,  tearing up old surfaces and laying new ones, taking down barriers and building bridges, all the while directing my path through his boundaries of protection and at his safe speed to make me new.  Through the broken pieces of my life He is producing in me endurance, which builds character and in turn produces hope.  What an encouragement to my soul and what a powerful testimony that in all of the construction going on I can trust that I will arrive safely to my destination. Join with me as I sing along my journey through life's construction zone.

 

                       All Must Be Well

Through the love of God our Savior, all will be well

Free and changeless is His favor, all is well

Precious is the blood that healed us

Perfect is the grace that sealed us

Strong the hand stretched forth to shield us

All must be well 

Though we pass through tribulation, all will be well

Ours is such a full salvation, all is well

Happy still in God confiding

Fruitful if in Christ abiding

Steadfast through the Spirit's guiding

All must be well

We expect a bright tomorrow; all will be well

Faith can sing through days of sorrow, all is well

On our Father's love relying

Jesus every need supplying

Yes in living or in dying

All must be well

1847 Mary B. Peters

Come Dance With Me

Several years ago Byron and I attended a conference where Joni Earckson Tada was a speaker. I love hearing her speak because she so loves Jesus and is eager to tell you how He has sustained her for most of her life as a quadriplegic in a wheelchair. I will never forget her breaking out in song in the middle of her talk and dancing in her wheelchair. For someone who has a serious limp and difficulty walking it brought such joy to my soul. There will be dancing in heaven and I look forward to the day, the eternal day! In the meantime you may catch me limp dancing or chair dancing to my song of the year.  Rejoice with me. You may catch yourself dancing!


http://youtu.be/KS3o_160OhE

From Tragedy to Triumph

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:6-7

My dad’s parents had 8 sons and 2 daughters. All eight of their sons were in WWI or WWII. My mom’s parents had 4 sons and 1 daughter. They all fought in different theaters of WWII. I never knew my grandparents. They all died before I was born. I always missed their presence. I wondered what they were like, what kind of aromas would have filled my grandmothers’ kitchens? What tales would they have told about my parents when they were young?  What was it like for so many of their children to be on the war front not knowing if they were okay?  Now that my own parents are gone I find myself wondering about them and the questions I would like to have asked them.

They never liked talking about the war. Sometimes, if I listened carefully, I would hear mom mention something about all of the bombings in London when she was head dietician of the army POW hospital. Once the bombings startled her so much she bit through her bottom lip. Dad was in the Pacific Theater working radar, a new and developing technology. Whatever he did I never knew. Perhaps it was top secret. There was no PTSD back then, but there really was. The term hadn’t been developed yet. Soldiers returned home with grand celebration and resumed their lives. Like most postwar parents, my parents wanted to give me a better life than they had experienced. In a strange kind of silence they wanted to move on. They wanted to live again.

Our family loves to travel. In my goal setting way, I have decided that there are some places I want to go in my lifetime. Coventry, England has been high on the list. Why Coventry of all places? It certainly is not the Taj Mahal (been there done that, way overrated) St Michael’s Cathedral in Coventry was destroyed during one of the 1940 Luftwaffe blitzes. My mom had mentioned it to me.

The day we headed into town I had mixed emotions of anticipation and sadness. Anticipation, because I was actually there, and sadness at the thought of the tragedy that occurred on the night of November 14, 1940. Today, the city is bustling and thriving. There is little evidence that anything ever happened there until you see the remains of the old cathedral. It is a very sobering and moving experience. Looking one direction you see the remains of the old cathedral, looking the other direction you see new Coventry Cathedral rising up in a contemporary design. The two together are an emblem of triumph over tragedy.

I imagine November 15, 1940 was a cold day full of the odor of burning rubble, the sounds of sirens and mourning. That morning people rose up from the bomb shelters, stood amidst the rubble and determined in faith, hope and trust that the cathedral would be rebuilt. In 1962 from tragedy to triumph the new Coventry Cathedral was dedicated.

At times, I am tempted to feel like my life is full of a lot rubble and ruin. During those times I need to remind myself that from those piles of rubble God is producing in me a genuine faith that is far more precious than gold.  In this, I choose to rejoice!

Meet My Friend Sara

As I have written before to you, I am so blessed, invigorated, and strengthened in my walk with the Lord when I hear personal testimonies of God's faithfulness under the weight of trial. I hope you will be equally ministered to as you read from a young couple that has waited patiently on the Lord to extend their table through adoption.

Our wait for children began about five years ago. We had been married a little over 3 years, and we were ready to begin building our family. Like any other young couple, we thought it would happen very easily (and quickly), but as the months progressed, and each test turned up negative, I began sensing that something had to be wrong.

Since we were only 26 at the time, our doctor recommended that we wait a year before getting any testing done. A year went by, and we decided to start the testing process to see what was preventing us from becoming pregnant. After a host of tests, we found out that we were both fine: perfectly healthy. There were no concerns, no red flags, and no hint that anything was wrong. We continued to wait, sure that eventually God was going to bless us with children; he was just calling us to wait and to trust him for the timing.

One year turned into two years, and two years quickly turned into three. It was during this time that we began seriously considering adoption. Honestly, I’m a little embarrassed that it took us that long. Adoption just wasn’t at the forefront of our minds; not because we didn’t see the merit in it, we just didn’t see anyone doing it. No one in our immediate families had adopted and there were only a few families in our church that had adopted children, and there wasn’t anyone that we knew well or personally that was going through the process. It was completely unfamiliar territory to us.

So, we began to pray and fast and read books and information on adoption, and it was over this time period of a few months that God began really confirming his call on us towards adoption. Adoption moved from a “second-best” option in our hearts to the very best option! We were excited and thankful that God had called us to this ministry, and we began to see the beauty in the fact that we too, had been adopted by God. This became a precious truth to us and helped to fuel our passion for adoption.

In November of 2009, we officially began the process to adopt from a foreign country. In some ways, we thought the hard part was over. What could be worse than years of unexplained infertility? At least now we knew there was going to be a child at the end of this process, and hopefully two, since we were praying for twins! Well, we were definitely wrong, and there were many more hard times in store for us.  

We thought our wait time for our adoption would be about a year, and it was easily double that. Our official wait-time was extended three times and there were changes that occurred in the country that also caused extensive delays. It would take too long to chronicle everything that happened during these months and years, but the overwhelming theme was discouragement and disappointment. From the time we sent our paperwork, it was over a year before we had any good news. Each time we were contacted by our adoption agency during that time period, it was to notify us of further delays.

But, God sustained our hope and our trust. He refined us and used this trial to drive us more deeply into the love of Christ that was shown for us on the cross. We began to see the importance of measuring God’s love for us based on the cross and not on our circumstances. By withholding something from us that was very good, he was giving us more of himself and showing us that he truly is sufficient to meet our greatest needs and to satisfy our hearts. We were learning in a very deep way what it means to find comfort and joy in the Lord, even when our hearts were breaking.   

I’m so thankful for my husband and the way he led our family during these tough years. He tenderly cared for and shepherded my heart and faithfully pointed me to Christ. He sent me an email during this time that I probably read close to a hundred times over the past several years. It is still as helpful to me today as the day he sent it to me, and it shows a lot of what God was teaching us during our wait.

•   Remember that to live is Christ. The life of satisfaction is a life of growing in the knowledge of God and being used by him to expand his kingdom and benefit his people and spread his Gospel. This is the life that is truly life. This is the life that brings real hope and a deep anticipation of the Glory and inheritance to come.

◦       “Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will not hunger, and whoever believes in me will not thirst” John 6:35 

•   Remember that every ounce of pain and disappointment that you feel is “grace cloaked in grief.” It is pure grace to your soul. God is winning your heart through your pain. “O Cross that liftest up my head, I dare not ask to fly from thee.” And why do we not ask to fly from our crosses? Because they lift our heads up to God.

◦       “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4)

◦       "More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." (Romans 5:3-5)

◦       "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

•   Trust that God’s way of ordering our life is perfect. What he brings into our lives is the best thing possible.

◦       In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will (Ephesians 1:11).

◦       God is in control and is working out every detail according to his will, "for he is in the heavens and does whatever he pleases" (Psalm 115:3). His plan for us is better than our own plan for us, so resign yourself to His will and rest in Him.

His plan truly is better for us than what our own plans would be, and it was just a matter of months before we would tangibly see that to be true.  

Almost two years exactly from when we applied for our adoption, we finally saw the faces of our children. After months and months of delays, the Lord blessed us with the most beautiful twin boys in all of the country (Yes, twins! And we didn’t even think it was possible that this prayer would be answered!). They are four months old, and Lord willing, we will bring them home this summer. Through all of those months of waiting and praying and wondering why it was taking so long, the Lord was preparing these sweet little boys for us. We had to wait that long because they just weren’t ready yet, and I guess in some ways, we weren’t ready yet either. The Lord was working on us and refining us; we are different people now than we were when this all started and I’m sure that we’ll forever be thankful for these precious, yet painful, waiting years.

And truthfully, our “waiting” isn’t over. We still have several months before we’ll have our boys home, but it’s more than that. In some ways, going through this trial has made me realize that “waiting” is just part of the Christian life. Until Christ returns, we are all going to be “waiting”… and most often, that waiting is going to be painful. It could be the agony we feel when we are waiting for healing of some physical ailment, or waiting for a job, or waiting for change to happen in us or in those we love. I’ve come to think that at least one of God’s purposes in this is to keep us from loving this world and from clinging too tightly to our lives here. Isn’t it true that heaven and the thought of no more tears and no more sorrow is most sweet to us when we are in the furnace of affliction?  And in some ways, waiting isn’t just part of the Christian life, it is the essence of it… we are people who wait. We wait for the return of our savior, Jesus Christ. We wait for the redemption of our bodies and for our heavenly home. We eagerly wait for the day when he takes his rightful throne and makes all things new.

The world looks at suffering and assumes that something must be wrong. We need to avoid pain and suffering at all cost! Even Christians can be tempted to think that suffering is a sign of God’s judgment and happiness and ease are a sign of his blessing. This principle, however, is not supported by scripture or by the experience of faithful Christians throughout the years. As John Piper shares in his book, Desiring God:  

I have never heard anyone say, "The really deep lessons of life have come through times of ease and comfort." But I have heard strong saints say, "Every significant advance I have ever made in grasping the depths of God's love and growing deep with him, has come through suffering."  Samuel Rutherford said that when he was cast into the cellars of affliction, he remembered that the great King always kept his wine there.  Charles Spurgeon said that those who dive in the sea of affliction bring up rare pearls. The pearl of greatest price is the glory of Christ.  Thus Paul stresses that in our sufferings the glory of Christ's all-sufficient grace is magnified.  If we rely on him in our calamity, and he sustains our "rejoicing in hope," then he is shown to be the all-satisfying God of grace and strength that he is.  

If we hold fast to him "when all around our soul gives way," then we show that he is more to be desired than all we have lost.  Christ said to the suffering apostle, "My grace is sufficient for you, for [my] power is perfected in weakness."  Paul responded to this: "Gladly, then, I will boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  Therefore I am content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).  So suffering clearly is designed by God not only as a way to wean Christians off of self and onto grace, but also as a way to spotlight that grace and make it shine.  That is precisely what faith does; it magnifies Christ's future grace.
The deep things of life in God are discovered in suffering.  So it was with Jesus himself.  "Although he was a Son, Jesus learned obedience through what he suffered" (Hebrews 5:8).  The same book where we read this also tells us Jesus never sinned (Hebrews 4:15).  So "learning obedience" does not mean switching from disobedience to obedience.  It means growing deeper and deeper with God in the experience of obedience.  It means experiencing depths of yieldedness to God that would not have been otherwise demanded. (Desiring God p. 265-266)

Greater depths of yieldedness to God; I love the thought of growing in my yieldedness to God, and truly, I’m thankful for anything that causes this to happen.